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My Silencer

from Thirty Love by Joe Yoga

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lyrics

Went to bed hungry
I woke up drunk
drenched in her sweat
the AC turned off
I head to the bathroom
turn off my phone, and crumple her note

everyone i imagine was sleeping one off
everyone I assume is not to be ignored
breakfast is taking all afternoon so bring on the booze

summer is a cruel pit
every year I seem to have enough of it
i love her but I don't care about love
or I don't care enough

walk around ugly, walk around done
the first of the day, stringing along
I move through the crowd handing out heat
nothing is wasted except for me

this ain't an audience this ain't a tour
whatever my disease this ain't a cure
all i do is come back with more
bigger bricks for bigger walls

a weakening core
more well deserved metaphors
the hottest of lovers, the baddest of beats
the hardest of summers, playing all week

nothing's expected, nothing's the same
not even nature, not even my name
east the bowery, the trenches and graves remain
but south of delancey it's pretty much the same

turn right on 2nd, walk down st marks
the ghosts of the theater missing their scars
don't faze in the slightest as they fall away
it's an acquired taste

Janice is immune to it
every year she tries to make a deal with it
I want her but I don't care what I want
it's the curse of the fucked

the subway explodes in front of my eyes
I will walk home if I survive
there is my window, there is my light
I sit bolt upright

out of the morning a car will arrive
if she knows your name, let her inside
out in the real world, our houses divide
but here you can lie

what is the task of the sober mind
just what is it i'm supposed to leave behind?
you are for real
you are against me
my silencer

credits

from Thirty Love, released August 26, 2014

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